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Don't worry, we won't make you wear a dead bird if you don't want to. But bright colours will be unavoidable

SOMEONE in a Parisian atelier must be having a laugh. No sooner have we got our heads round the possibilities of high-waisted jeans and jodhpurs than it's all change again. If the designers have their way this season, we'll be trussed up in playsuits, MC Hammer-style harem pants and skyscraper heels in the shape of lightbulbs. We'll be wearing our handbags round our ankles (à la Chanel) and back-to-front shoes (Marc Jacobs).

Of course, every season brings its fair share of bonkers fashion. Apart from capturing oodles of newspaper and magazine space, it showcases the designer's skills as an artist. "Fashion has become much more of an art form – it's no longer purely about practical design," says Kevin Stewart, in-store stylist at Harvey Nichols, Edinburgh.

"For example, Alexander McQueen did this dress that looks, from a distance, as if a massive dead albatross has been stuck to the front of it. It's just amazing – but it's a completely unwearable dress. It's not even something you would wear as a couture piece. You'll find they make these one-offs as a showpiece, but they set the tone for the look for that season from that designer."

Sarah Murray, owner of the Jane Davidson boutique in Edinburgh, is not quite so understanding. "It really quite annoys me," she says, "because when you see all the runway images in the magazines, a lot of people think, 'Fashion is not for me anymore.' Basically all these designers are competing to get the headline picture and it's getting wilder. But there are some designers whose commercial collection bears no resemblance to their catwalk collection."

In the end, the main themes are watered down for public consumption. So, while Prada's look on the catwalk was all fairies and toadstools, that has translated into floral prints. "And they have a prom dress, but instead of making it a bell mushroom shape, they've given it a box pleat, so you still have the same idea but done in a more wearable way," says Stewart.

It's the same with the all-in-one. "I think the playsuit is quite a club culture thing," says Stewart. "You can imagine someone wearing one on a night out with a great pair of heels. But it all depends on the cut. If it's really quite fitted and the top half is more of a blouson, it almost looks more like a top and a pair of shorts. If it's hanging down by the crotch, it's just going to look like you're in an adult-size romper suit."

Murray won't be buying playsuits any time soon, however. "I'm a great believer in 'If there's a fine line, don't cross it'," she says. "The most obvious thing for my customers will be colour – there are a lot of bright, vibrant colours we haven't seen for a long time: coral, fuchsia, yellow, lime. And a lot of prints. They're really big and bold now and there's everything from florals to Aztec designs."

Stewart agrees: "There's an awful lot of colour on the catwalks: lots of yellow, blue and pink – vibrant primary colours. Those rainbow colours are going to be really big."

But the rules are much more flexible than they have been in the past and no one need stick rigidly to a certain look. "Fashion isn't as dictatorial as it used to be," says Murray. "There should be something in all the trends to suit every body shape. You can't imagine what it was like in the 1960s when the only thing in fashion was the mini-skirt. It's so much wider these days."

"Sometimes you get a collection with a colour that just doesn't work," admits Stewart. "This season violet is very big, but it's a difficult colour for Scottish people to carry off – it's one of those colours that can make you look really old. But there are so many different shades; it's just a case of finding a tone to suit your skin."

Harem pants is one look he doesn't think will catch on. "I don't think women will want to wear anything that makes them look as if they've got a big bum," he says.

"But a lot of designers have done a trouser which is slightly higher in the waist, pleated, in really soft fabric, which goes into a taper so you have that kind of harem-pant style but it's much more tailored. And you have to wear those trousers with a really high heel."

Key looks for the season include lots of organza and chiffon, he says, "which is fantastic because they're really good layering pieces".

Footwear, too, is a major focus for many designers. "We're seeing a lot of show shoes. They are very high and adorned with different embellishments. The Prada ones on the catwalk almost had a full flower for the heel and we've got a toned-down version in a black satin peep-toe with a tulip for a heel."

And get ready to go retro. "Donna Karan has done the whole fitted glamour thing with a really cinched-in waist and swishy skirt worn with a structured shirt – it's quite Christian Dior New Look again."

"A lot of people are buying into this really glamorous evening wear look," agrees Murray.

"When economic times are looking a bit uncertain, I think something has to have the wow factor for you to buy into it. It has to be completely covetable. Nobody needs another black trouser suit, but something in an acid colour or a truly glamorous evening dress will really lift the doldrums."