After Lockerbie, Harvie turns his fire on rest of UK

AFTER offending every one of Lockerbie's 4,009 residents by describing their community as a "dump", outspoken MSP Christopher Harvie has set out to insult pretty much everyone else in Britain.

The Nationalist member for Mid-Scotland and Fife has launched a magnificent rant against life in the UK including – but by no means limited to – foreign footballers, crooked media bosses, shopaholics, Jeremy Paxman, stupid celebrities and Jonathan Ross.

Harvie, who took up his new political job after a distinguished career as professor of British and Irish studies at Tübingen University, Germany, has made his views clear in an article for this week's Scots Independent newspaper titled "The Twilight of the Gods".

Attacking the financial sector which has led the country into a credit crunch, he then declares that the whole of society has become afflicted with a form of consumer madness.

"The sclerosis of consumer-driven 'growth' has spread into every element of UKanian civil life: white-van men, venal broadcasters, dim-witted celebs, bent press barons, supermarket tycoons, crooked politicians," he declares in the article. "Not to speak of the sad grotesques - the boozed-up high streets, the overpaid 'flannelled fools and muddied oafs' of the stadiums."

Harvie was only too happy to expand on his comments.

The BBC's Jeremy Paxman was first up, following the revelation last week that the broadcaster had hired two live-in Romanian servants whom he was paying at below the minimum wage, although he insisted he provided benefits including accommodation, food and a car.

"I find it very odd that you get the situation where someone like Paxman lays down the law and yet he is someone who won't pay his staff properly. Behaviour of that sort is palliated or excuses are found for it," Harvie told Scotland on Sunday.

He also slammed fellow BBC presenter Jonathan Ross. "It is obscene that someone is paid £6m a year by the BBC."

The reference to 'flanelled fools and muddied oafs' was a borrowed quote from Rudyard Kipling's 1902 poem, the Islanders, said Harvie, which he used to refer today to the influx of highly paid foreign football stars.

Harvie said. "At least then he was talking about locals. These days we bring our gladiators in as the Romans did, to keep a section of society happy – who these days aren't working-class but middle-class because you have to be to afford the price of a ticket."

And asked about his reference to 'vacuous shoppers', Harvie said he lamented the fact that shopping had taken over as the country's main leisure activity.

"In Germany there is no Sunday shopping....a lot of the shopping culture here is to do with diddling people," he declared.

He said he despaired of modern British culture which, he warned, was moving further away from the European model.

"You have to remember where I am coming from. Germany is a country which has imposed pretty high standards and is now getting p****d off with the culture of tax havens and tax dodging and that seems to be accepted more and more here," he said. "What Gordon is doing is running Britain as a mega-Liechtenstein."

He added: "Things are totally out of control. It is said of the patriot who loves his country he is prepared to attack it until it redeems itself."

Asked if there was anything about British culture of which he approved, he did not provide an example.

A spokesman for the Scottish Conservatives said: "The way Christopher Harvie rants on, you have to assume he is employed by Don't Visit Scotland.com."

Labour MSP for Scotland and Mid-Fife Claire Baker said: "Mr Harvie really does need to put mind in gear before operating mouth. After criticising Lockerbie and parts of Kirkcaldy, he now has widened his attack to just about everything and everybody in Scotland.

"It's about time he decided if he would prefer to resign his seat at Holyrood and go back to academia in Germany."

An SNP source said: "Chris is a very passionate guy, especially about local issues."

More to life than moans and groans

Christopher Harvie, above, believes the country is going to the dogs. Many will agree, but here are five things that show that modern life in Britain isn't so bad after all.

1 The best live music scene for a generation. There has never been a better time to see great bands in well-priced venues.

2 The choice of food and drink on offer puts the past 20 years to shame to shame, thanks to increased immigration, better produce on sale and a boom in our foodie culture.

3 The sense of humour. It may sound like a cliché to say it, but nobody has quite such a subtle, sophisticated and witty way with words.

4 The weather. Don't knock it, there's nothing better than summer here, even in Glasgow. Just go to Dubai in August.

5 The sheer variety. Sassanachs, Gaels, Scousers, Highlanders, mountains, Bens, lochs, lakes, chips, chapatis, Shakespeare, Burns, Churchill, Connery, the Beatles.... Need we go on?