RED TOP REVIEW
He's back, Thomas Beatie, the world's first pregnant man is all over the Daily Mirror. The 34-year-old is pictured mowing the lawn at his Oregon home under the headline "Mr Bump".
The Daily Record exposes the cocaine supply route from Colombia to Scotland, revealing how there are millions of victims, caught up in the bitter drugs war in the South American country.
Gladiator Gallagher
The Sun's Gladiator story of the day reveals that host Kirsty Gallagher wants to own a farm. The 32-year-old says the rural life would suit her, once her TV career is over, adding that she already has some knowledge of agricultural pursuits: "I'm an urban farmer already with two hens, Scarlett and Stella."
SPORT
Craig, seeking victory
The SPL title race is going to the wire and the managers of Aberdeen and Dundee United insist there'll be no lying down when they host the Old Firm in Thursday's decisive matches.
The Glasgow clubs are level at the top of the league with 86 points each ahead of the final round of fixtures but Celtic's goal difference is better by four.
The Parkhead side travel to Tannadice and United manager Craig Levein is adamant his side will be fully committed, despite having nothing left to play for. "It is being completely disrespectful to me, my players and Dundee United to say we won't be trying to beat Celtic," Levein said.
Aberdeen host Rangers on Thursday and Pittodrie manager Jimmy Calderwood is hoping key man Jamie Smith will be able to play after a long lay-off through injury. "Jamie will be brought back and that shows how important it is for me to beat Rangers," said Calderwood.
FASHION
Valentino & Paltrow
Yet again we're treated to the sight of Gwyneth Paltrow sashaying and shimmying up the red carpet. At least this time we are spared the sight of her pins. She's fine in the high heels because she's got the internationally tanned designer, Valentino, for support. Now she knows how Katie Holmes feels.
Nightie night?
Portman in a storm
Kristin Scott Thomas must have reckoned that she could get away with keeping her negligee on for the red carpet. In fact, I'm sure she thought it worked so well that she just gritted her teeth and smiled like a pro when young Natalie Portman turned up in the same colour dress. But Luisa Ranieri is surely just taking the Michael?
Ranieri
Stepping out?
On the subject of Kristins… she's cute and bubbly, so we can forgive young Miss Chenoweth a lot. But we can't forgive hot pink boots with a fur trim AND a gold lamé jacket. The country awards were yesterday love – although I doubt even they would have let you in wearing that.
BUSINESS
M&S boss Sir Stuart Rose will not receive a bonus this year despite annual profits at the high street retailer topping £1bn. After paying out a record £91bn in staff bonuses last year, M&S announced that only store teams would share this year's reduced £12.8m bonus pool after profitability targets were missed.
M&S this morning announced a 4.3% increase in annual pre-tax profits, but Rose said this figure came in below expectation. He also warned that conditions would remain "difficult for the foreseeable future".
TELEVISION
Mum & Me
The trailers have been enough in themselves to convey the intimacy of this three-year documentary filmed by Sue Bourne, as her mother's struggle with dementia takes a hold on the family. Bourne's teenage daughter Holly, who visits Ethel in the nursing home once a month with Sue, provides much of the light relief here, as her youthful innocence and enthusiasm both engage with and struggle against the encroachment of Alzheimer's.
BBC 1, 10:35pm
You looking at me?
Better known for being something of a modern day Jeremy Beadle, with his fake job interview series The Richard Taylor Interviews, and more recently with his prank TV show, Balls Of Steel, Mark Dolan plays it straighter in this fascinating programme. Travelling through Nepal, Taiwan and Inner Mongolia, Dolan meets the men who have a claim on the title World's Smallest Man, but discovers there is much more to their story.
Channel 4, 10pm INTERNETWebsite of the day: www.boingboing.netAward-winning group blog Boing Boing is described by its creators as "a directory of wonderful things". It comments on, and links to, bizarre material on the web such as Chess Grandmaster Gary Kasparov being attacked by a helicopter.
Check us out every weekday for the latest news, gossip and gab from Scotland on SundayThe full article contains 781 words and appears in Scotland On Sunday newspaper.
