DEAN WINDASS was born on April 1. When he incurred three red cards during Aberdeen's 5-0 defeat at Dundee United 11 years ago, the idea that this burly, lantern-jawed Desperate Dan of a striker would be playing in England's Premier League at the age of 40 would have been deemed too fanciful for an April Fool's Day scam.
In next Saturday's Coca-Cola Championship play-off final, however, Windass will lead the attack as his home-town team, Hull City, fight for a place alongside Manchester United, Chelsea and co, a prospect the 39-year-old views as proof "there must be
a God up there".
Since their opponents at Wembley, Bristol City, have a goalkeeper, Adriano Basso, who invokes "the Hand of God" as the reason for his saving grace, divine intervention may be required to settle a match worth up to £50m in TV revenue, sponsorship and prize money for the winners.
Windass aims to prove that there is a place among the football deities for a late-starting oldie. His record shows an impressive 226 goals from 681 appearances, as well as £2.9m in transfer fees, although his "character" status stems from more than mere statistics.
Scottish fans will remember his triple red in what proved Roy Aitken's swansong as manager at Pittodrie; one for a second bookable offence, another for verbally abusing referee Stuart Dougal and the third for an unprovoked attack on a corner flag on the trudge of shame.
Later, after being dropped by Neil Warnock from Sheffield United's side for the play-off final five years ago, Windass watched Wolves' triumph in a pub. Then there was his re-enactment of Vinnie Jones' testicular squeeze on Paul Gascoigne, which prompted an irate Cheltenham player to punch him and get sent off for his trouble. And when the Tigers of Hull mauled Watford to qualify for Wembley, it was the former local labourer, the son of a dock worker, who led the players over to sing with fans.
Windass, who was rejected by Hull as a teenager for being "too small" and also had four years at the club during the 1990s, is not religious but he is right to sense a miraculous quality in the rise and rise of his boyhood favourites. Hull have never played in the top flight in their 104-year history, or at Wembley, and they escaped the fourth tier only four years ago, 12 months after flirting with relegation to non-League football.
As recently as 2000, bailiffs locked players and staff out of their ground, Boothferry Park, and Hull were threatened with liquidation. Two take-overs, first by former Leeds director Adam Pearson and then by Paul Duffen, stopped the rot. They really began moving forward after moving to the new KC Communications Stadium, which is shared with Hull rugby league club, who, with Hull Kingston Rovers, command substantial support in the East Yorkshire city for what round-ball devotees call "egg-chasing".
Phil Brown, a former Sam Allardyce acolyte at Bolton who was sacked in his only previous managerial post, at Derby, arrived as coach 19 months ago. Taking over in January last year, he steered Hull clear of the drop and, after reaching Christmas in the lower half of the Championship, led them into promotion contention. The cutting edge was supplied by 14-goal Windass in tandem with another prodigal son, ex-England player Nick Barmby, 34, and Fraizer Campbell, 20, top scorer with 15 while on loan from Manchester United.
Bristol City have much in common with Hull, not least the fact that both entered receivership in 1982, just six years after a Bristol team including Scots Gerry Gow and Tom Ritchie reached the top flight. Whereas Hull needed a season to settle in the Championship, their rivals are on the verge of a second promotion in 12 months under Gary Johnson.
The latter has conducted his career back to front, having been an international manager, with Latvia, before his first club job. He may have Craig Brown to thank for surviving two years with the Baltic republic. The Riga media, having expected better than a one-goal home defeat by Scotland, were angrily denouncing Johnson until Brown, waiting to face the Scottish press, interrupted in his defence.
Johnson's latest side have not exactly been irresistible either, coming to Wembley having finished the regular season with a goal difference of plus one and with a leading scorer with a mere eight in Darren Byfield. But, crucially, they have proved capable of following a heavy loss with a series of narrow wins.
A tartan twang can still be heard around Ashton Gate, with once-capped Jamie McAllister (formerly of Queen of the South, Aberdeen, Livingston and Hearts) a fixture in defence and Edinburgh-born Michael McIndoe scoring the extra-time winner in the second leg of the play-off semi-final with Crystal Palace. Ivan Sproule and manager's son Lee Johnson, previously of Hibs and Hearts, also feature regularly, as has the injured Scott Murray, once of Fraserburgh.
The role of ageing talisman is taken by Lee Trundle; just as Windass began at North Ferriby, the 31-year-old Liverpudlian maverick paid his dues at Rhyl before receiving his chance. The most colourful symbol of the Robins' renaissance, though, is Basso. After a vital penalty save against Watford, the 33-year-old Brazilian claimed he asked the "holy spirit" which way to dive. "He said 'left', so I went left and saved," said the born-again Christian. "I was very blessed."
Counting their blessings has traditionally been part of a grim accounting process with both play-off finalists. For one of them, Wembley's tale of two Cities is about to change everything.
The full article contains 975 words and appears in Scotland On Sunday newspaper.
