YOU have to feel sorry for the tourists. If they think Edinburgh's Royal Mile is representative of modern Scottish culture then I'm Jimmy Shand. All those shops hawking tartan dollies and See You Jimmy hats are bad enough, but have you tried finding somewhere decent for a quiet drink?
Stylish bars seem to be an entirely unknown concept in Scotland's most celebrated thoroughfare. If you want to watch the match on an unfeasibly large screen or risk splinters on your bottom from a roughly hewn wooden bench, you're on to a winner. But
I'll wager 'cocktail' is a bit of a sweary word in these parts.
And so it came to pass that we found ourselves in Whiski, with its warm amber colour scheme (of course) and enough bric-à-brac to keep Ingliston Sunday Market trading for the next decade. There's not an inch of free wall space – every pillar, nook and cranny is decorated with Scottie dogs and Reverend Robert Walkers, and all cultural references in between are given a nod for good measure. It's a cosy wee place, despite the presence of two screens showing football (is the art of conversation now dead?).
Thirst whetted by the sight of 200 whiskies on offer, we stood at the bar and waited to be served. And waited. And waited. The couple behind us gave up – a person could die of thirst in this place, and it wasn't even that busy.
After eventually catching the barmaid's attention, we took a seat outside and watched the world go by. There was a distinct chill in the air, but this was preferable to the overpowering whiff emanating from the blue-cheese-topped burger being devoured by one punter inside.
Which rather sums up the whole experience: lukewarm and a bit cheesy.
What to drinkWhisky, of course. And, contrary to my suspicions, they do cocktails too. Try a Glayva Cooler, a summery combination of Glayva, mint leaves and ginger ale.
Whiski, 119 Royal Mile, Edinburgh (0131 556 3095,
www.whiskibar.co.uk)
The full article contains 353 words and appears in Scotland On Sunday newspaper.
