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Ma'am must rhyme with ham – how the Queen ruled Britannia

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Published Date: 20 July 2008
FOR almost half a century the Royal Yacht Britannia regally ruled the waves as the Queen's floating palace.
Crossing the world, the impeccably turned out crew were the quintessentially British image of formality the Royal Family wanted to portray.

But now a fascinating, and previously classified, insight into the rigours of a regal life above and below decks has emerged.

The Ministry of Defence has published the official guide to rules, regulations and acceptable conduct for staff serving aboard the vessel.

The Precedent Book contains a number of revelations, including the fact that Her Majesty admires a stiff upper lip but not, apparently, a hairy one. Servicemen with moustaches were deemed unsuitable to guard the Queen.

The documents also reveal that crew members were to be "neither seen nor heard" near the Royal quarters, and were expected to wear soft-soled gym shoes to avoid disturbing the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh.

Staff were banned from whistling, jogging or smoking on deck and were urged to avoid swearing in case a female member of the Royal household overheard.

A section of the 200-page Precedent Book entitled 'Commonwealth Personnel' shows that Royal Canadian Navy (RCN) members were expected to wear Royal Yacht cap ribbons and working dress during visits to North America.

Reservations were also raised about the facial hair sported by some Canadian servicemen. "RCN personnel with moustaches may not be suitable for duties in the public limelight."

However, it reveals the ban on hirsute upper lips was eventually lifted. "RCN carried out the duties of car door openers for the Royal Visit to Toronto in October 1991. There was no objection to the wearing of moustaches."

The situation would not arise with British mariners as the Royal Navy only permits recruits to be clean-shaven or have a "full set" of beard and moustache.

A spokesman for the Royal Yacht Britannia said the extracts from the protocol documents provided "a fascinating insight into what life was like on board".

Their own records showed that growing a beard while serving on the Royal Yacht was permitted provided it was deemed "respectable" by the first time the whiskers appeared in public. The rules stated: "The granting of a request to discontinue shaving will carry with it an automatic stoppage of leave for 14 days.

"At the end of this time the beard will be inspected and a further 14 days may be given. Should the beard still be untidy after 28 days the order to continue shaving will be given."

Permission to remove the beard would not be granted, except for medical reasons, within six months of permission "to grow" being granted.

A section marked "Royal Duty Reminders" makes it clear that silence was golden on board Britannia. "Royal Yachtsmen should neither be seen nor heard near the Royal Apartments. As far as possible spoken orders are to be avoided.

"It must be generally appreciated that even walking across the Royal Deck in gym shoes makes quite perceptible noise in the cabins below. Although there is plenty of fan noise in this area, thumps and bangs are distinctive and are easily transmitted along the deck."

It confirms that no smoking was allowed on deck during working hours and that "strict attention" was paid to the age-old naval tradition of banning whistling on board at all times. Attendant helicopters, which followed the vessel's 1976 tour of the US, were described as "particularly irritating, even at the prescribed distance". Jogging on deck was also outlawed, although the Duke of Edinburgh did briefly permit it between 5pm and 6pm during his 1993 Caribbean tour.

Crew members were warned that their onshore behaviour needed to be "impeccable at all times" and were curtly ordered to watch their language.

"Remember that there are ladies in the Household who are likely to go forward within earshot at the wrong moment."

The rules stated the Royal Yachtsmen could be discharged from service for a variety of infractions including: "Misconduct, drunkenness, other offences and venereal disease."

The book also reveals that expensive royal silver was believed to have ended up being scraped into a bin by careless staff.

"As a result of the disappearance of silver cutlery accidentally discarded with galley waste or otherwise lost in November 1986 it was found necessary for the Duty Steward to muster cutlery after each meal."

Staff meeting the Queen or Queen Mother were informed to address them as "Your Majesty" initially, but otherwise as "Ma'am (to rhyme with ham)". All other Royals were to be addressed as "Your Royal Highness" and thereafter as "Sir" or "Ma'am".

Crew members were instructed to give a deferential nod when a member of the Royal family entered or left a room.

"Lower your head forward until your chin touches your chest momentarily and then raise your head to an upright position. There is no need to bend at the waist in the best Sir Walter Raleigh style!"

A section marked "Royal Duty Hints for Officers" urges them to keep a close eye on the man posted as the ceremonial sentry in order to avoid embarrassing episodes.

"Make sure he is fully briefed, particularly on changes to the programme. It is a lonely position often filled by a nervous and inexperienced man who can't see behind him and doesn't know who is coming down the Royal Brow."

The book records that the inspection and stirring of Britannia's Christmas pudding was a time-honoured and semi-formal tradition during festive cruise.

"It was stirred by the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh in the Main Galley during the tour of Spain in 1988 and by the Prince of Wales during the tour of Hong Kong in 1989, by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother in 1990, and by all the Wales in Canada in 1991."

However, there was not always room for sentimentality.

The records show that in 1964, a request from the Australian Sea Cadets for highly decorated members to visit the Britannia and be briefly employed in minor duties was rejected out of hand as "service in the Royal Yacht is confined to selected regular officers and men of Her Majesty's Commonwealth Navies".

Clyde's finest

HMY Britannia was built at the John Brown & Co shipyard in Clydebank and was launched in 1953. During her career the vessel clocked up 696 foreign visits and 272 in UK waters.

The Prince and Princess of Wales took a honeymoon cruise aboard Britannia in 1981.

The yacht was decommissioned by the incoming Labour Government of Tony Blair in 1997. It argued that money required to fund a replacement could not be justified.

Britannia is now permanently moored at Leith Harbour, where it attracts tens of thousands of visitors every year.

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  • Last Updated: 19 July 2008 6:57 PM
  • Source: Scotland On Sunday
  • Location: Scotland
  • Related Topics: Britannia
 
1

Fanling,

Switzerland 20/07/2008 00:52:34
Just remember to lower your head as you vomit ...
2

Richardinho,

20/07/2008 01:16:13
#1 agree, a quite disgusting story.
3

Charles Linskaill,

Edinburgh 20/07/2008 01:55:08

After having an initial,..'Puke' in reading this story, we need not,..'Puke' any Longer!

WHY YOU ASK,?

WANNA KNOW!,?

"YES PLEASE, Mr Charles"!

Let Charles tell you!,....

The new and Latest, "Ruling of the Waves" is....??

YES!,..our,..'Boy Wonder Blunder'!

"BamPot, must rhyme with, Ham-pot" :))
4

indune1,

Canada 20/07/2008 03:21:45


Good god!

A monumental blunder. Someone must be shot at dawn with a ball of his own frozen sh*te.

Someone has failed to inform the author of this farcical document that the "Royal" in the Royal Canadian Navy was dropped over 40 years ago.

However, I do agree that naval officers with moustaches are just simply not on!
Someone s
5

Guga II,

Rockall 20/07/2008 03:42:32
So the plebs must be neither seen nor heard by the parasites.

Pass the bucket,

6

Haggis MacBagpipes,

Central Canada - ex Perth & Glesca' 20/07/2008 05:52:59
#3- "Chuckles" Linskaill,Edinburgh.

What fabrication are you coming up with now, old man?
What has Boy Wonder done to you that is so horrible?
I feel that I should defend the good name of BW in his absence and remind you it isn't fair to downcry the good name of BW unless he can answer your misrepresentation of his honourable character.
So be off with you before BW arrives and gives you
40-Lashes before the Mast, which you properly deserve.
Cheers,
Haggis MacBagpipes™©
7

Mark Renton,

Edinburgh 20/07/2008 06:23:21
And yet the Royals wonder why they are disliked by 90% of the population. Why is it obvious to most, but such a mystery to them?
8

thinking,

Scotland 20/07/2008 08:53:04
Actually Britannia was used a great deal, successfully, to further British interests.
It makes no difference if you are a monarchist or not, it is the monarchy and other traditions that appeal to people from other countries and also bring the tourists here which brings income here
9

Mr. Lachie Todd,

Edinburgh 20/07/2008 09:04:57
This is a fascinating record of how the Royal Family and the Admiralty, in the form of the Precedent Book, still attempted to preserve the fag-end of Empire in a world long Gone With The Wind.

It must have been a bitter pill to swallow for the Queen and other members of the Royal Family when the government decided to decommission the Royal Yacht,
the ultimate status symbol, because of the obscene
cost of maintaining a little bit of Ruritania in
the modern world?

However, if the Royals still feel nostalgic they can always visit Britannia at Leith!
10

wattie>x 1,

PLYMOUTH 20/07/2008 09:09:59
If this obnoxious former German parasitic pre-"Windsor" named family had been removed during World War One; when then, they were detested by the overwhelming majority of the UK population that were demanding their removal, there would have been no need for this present forum.
Most people today are sick to the teeth financing this family off sponging millionaires and their hangers-on who live the life of 'REILLY'on tax payers cash doled out every year. They are a "LUXURY" the UK can no longer afford and I am sure most people - as they did in a poll taken in 1992- would have been happy to see their final demise.
The sooner they are removed we will have some surplus cash available that could assist in the financing off our NHS and other social necessities.
11

Richard M,

Scottish Raj 20/07/2008 09:38:28
Out of curiosity I went to look round the Britannia at Leith 3 years ago. All the perceptions were true: it was just one big, expensive floating drinks cabinet
12

The Guard Van Thiepval,

20/07/2008 10:39:43
Of course we could have an air force one fully loaded with interns with wipe clean clothing.

That would be nicer i'm sure!
13

daveserviceman,

edinburgh 20/07/2008 11:07:31
As a member of the royal Navy I find nothing strange about the orders on the britania. as for whistling that has been banned for centuries as to whistle meant you were starting a mutiny, smoking has never been allowed on duty on any war ship you smoked below decks
to smoke on the uper deck at night would give your position away to the enemy as you can see a lighted cigerette at sea for a few miles, its only the civilians that cant understand the navy way of life the Navy belongs to the crown and always has done thats where our alegance lays. Hence the senior service
I have no time for the civilians in any case, and neither do the rest of my service collegues in the othe two military sections
14

Guga II,

Rockall 20/07/2008 11:50:15
#15. You've no time for civilians! You should try and remember that it is these civilians that are paying you wages.
15

MACop,

20/07/2008 12:05:08
To be fair to the Royals, this is how they've always lived and they don't know any different, hence they don't know any better that they're pompous twits. However, tradition is a wonderful thing to preserve. I wouldn't want to live their lives and I'm sure they wouldn't want to live mine, but I do love to be a "fly on the wall" when given the opportunity to observe their lifestyle.
16

Otis Boone,

Sacramento 20/07/2008 12:32:13
Amazing how little the British public respects and/or holds in high regard its Armed Forces. Score 1 for the US of A. We love our sailors and soldiers, and those from elsewhere in the Anglosphere.

For all you critical of the Monarchy, here's a question: who would you rather have as your head of state, a Sovereign who signs every law those you elect pass, or a President who can veto laws you want because s/he's in the opposition party?

And should you say "We wouldn't go for your Yankee style republic, we'd keep our parliamentary system," if you just replace Her Majesty with an elected president and still have a Prime Minister, you're just electing someone who still does the same thing Her Majesty does, sign bills, advise the Prime Minister on legislation, and waive to the masses when in Public. If you go with the French Model and abolish the PM, you then have a "Yankee-style" presidency, where laws you want can be blocked because she's from a different party.

In other words, no system's perfect. At least your head of state hasn't pissed of 9/10 of the world, and can say Nuclear.
17

TimW1234,

Ottawa, Canada 20/07/2008 13:32:31
HM Yacht Britannia did a great deal to promote UK trade and goodwill and also acted as a floating embassy when HM gave state dinners on it.

But the article forgot to mention the many gay scandals involving sailors and staff. I suppose when you are cooped up in such luxury and there are no female sailors a man has to do what a man has to do to "Relax".
18

bill-alba,

fife 20/07/2008 15:19:32
When the yacht visited Mexico, my ship (Tartar) was the escort ship, there was a rule that when the Queen arrives for a state visit the people on the the ships were not allowed leave so they didnt get to join the crowds greeting her, however the tartar wasnt aware of this rule so we joined the crowds on the street.....numerous signals were received from the Flag officer telling our captain to get us back..however we got a message from the Queen saying she was delighted to see matelots ashore..so I wouldnt be bothered too much my petty rules the navy has them aplently.
Saor Alba.
19

Thomas Campbell,

New York 20/07/2008 16:05:57
Now that the usual German- and Windsor-haters have had their [ignorant, repetitive, ill-informed] say: the decommissioning of HMY Britannia spoke volumns about the state of penny-pinching, whingeing modern Britain, and is more a symbol of the decline of the UK than you can ever know.
The sight of her gracefully sailing through the Western Isles, or up New York's East River, will never be forgotten by those who saw it. Pity it is docked north of the border. Amazing you lefty pinkos permit it (quick, 'phone the "Scottish Parliament").
And odd, too, that even Spain has a Royal Yacht...but then it's a nation that has pride in itself and its history. And all you can do is bitch on about "toffs"...
20

Boy Wonder,

20/07/2008 21:55:14
Chuckles Linskaill is off his rocker! And his meds!
21

Andra, Dundee,

20/07/2008 22:04:24
#24
he he he,
I used to get upset by these whinging losers as well. But now I realise that it is only themselves that they are upsetting.
I'm happy to look back on the HMYB with fondness. It is a shame that we have not yet replaced her. There is more to life than penny pinching.
As for the quirky story - it is these things that make us smile - I liked it.
The antis would have us all living in samey houses in samey republics, eating samey food and doing samey jobs. They can set their ambitions that low if they like but it sounds pretty dull to me.
(Good point about Britannia being N of the border. Why has Alex not sorted that out? - He'll be keeping it up his sleeve to cover up a bad news day)


22

DunCraig,

Brisbane 20/07/2008 22:55:15
Guga, just remember that the taxpayers might pay for our servicemen but when the brown stuff hits the fan, who is it that defends your right to live as you do? Would you, willingly, sign up to defend your country?
23

Tris,

20/07/2008 23:56:32

~24. Maybe Spain can afford a Royal Yacht. Maybe Juan pays for it himself. Maybe it's a tiny little thing.

The Sax-Coburg Gothas are finished anyway. When Liz goes Chalrie will almost undoubtedly make a HUGE fuss about the style and title of Mrs Parker Bowles and have a strop and take up parliamentary time until everyone is so hacked off with him that we will send him and his disfunctional relatives packing.

If they can have a yacht at our expense why can't my granny?
24

subrosa,

21/07/2008 00:03:59
# 16 & # 17

Rather badly thought out comments gentlemen. Our military are here to protect us. Why do you resent paying? It's not their problem that their political 'bosses' are madmen.

I realise the navy chap didn't put his case too well but I understand his attitude. Why should he work to protect the likes of us when he could perhaps get a far better, and safer, job in civvie street.
25

Tris,

21/07/2008 00:25:03

I certainly don't resent paying for servicemen who are there to protect us. They should be well paid and well looked after. I've wsaid that over and over again on these boars and elsewhere. It is something both this government and the last one have have dismally to do, and it angers me beyond measure, specially when you hear about the money they spend in the MoD on rubbish.

I do resent our servicement being treated like skivvies for the Windsors. There are better things to spend money on that that crew.

As for Dave (above), who doesn't like civilians.... hum... bit of a twatty thing to say really... civilians come in all shapes, sizes, colours, ages and sexes..... and he doesn't like ANY of them?
26

TimW1234,

Ottawa, Canada 21/07/2008 02:34:25
#22

Then don't comment, you idiot.

I am only relating what was published over the years.

Yours comments about me reveal more about you than they do about myself. Hypocrite.
27

keystone,

Wisdonsin USA 22/02/2009 00:39:17
Of course a new Britania couldn't be afforded. That money Mr. Blair needed to keep thousands of his most loyal supporters living well off the dole, better in fact than millions of working folks, thereby assuring their votes for him and his gang of poltical fools, one who now occupies #10.

 

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