IT'S a tome that doesn't stand a ghost of a chance of gaining royal approval.
A hugely controversial new book has as its heroine the spirit of the late Princess Diana, who returns to haunt Charles and Camilla at their Highland hideaway.
In Diana: The Ghost Biography, England's rose rises from the grave and takes up residen
ce in Balmoral Castle. In the novel the scarred spectre of the People's Princess returns to lavish love and attention on Princes William and Harry before spiriting them away from a cold Royal Family, described as a "discredited dynasty".
And while the book will no doubt delight the legions of Diana loyalists it has been described as "exploitative" and in "poor taste" by a leading royal expert.
Scottish author Emma Tennant insists her intention was not to undermine the monarchy, but instead to highlight the Princess of Wales' legacy of warmth and compassion.
The aristocratic socialite insists she has no fear of offending royal sensibilities and quipped: "I'd be really quite surprised if anybody in that family reads a book."
The supernatural tale revolves around a disfigured and disguised Diana posing as a nurse so she can care for her youngest son after he suffers near fatal injuries on a gap-year bungee jump.
The behind-the-scenes fictional portrayal of life behind the walls of Balmoral also features:
• Diana spying on Charles and Camilla and attempting to undermine their engagement celebrations by appearing on the dancefloor in her finery.
• Prince William incurring the wrath of the Duke of Edinburgh by bringing his single mother girlfriend, and her child, to stay at Balmoral.
• The Queen reluctantly dressing up as a mop-carrying maid at a fancy dress party.
• Diana discovering that Charles has given her sapphire engagement ring to his new wife-to-be.
• The Princess of Wales encouraging her sons to abandon their royal duties to start a new life overseas.
Set a decade after her death, the incognito princess returns, unrecognised, to the gothic splendour of Balmoral, which is described the "northernmost palace of a now discredited dynasty" and a "fortress of cold privilege".
The disguised Diana discovers her former belongings packaged away in secret vaults in the bowels of the castle, enrages the staff by caring for a young drug addict who lives nearby and succeeds in bringing smiles to the faces of her beloved sons.
While she is portrayed as selfless and loving, the other royals do not come across so well. The Queen is shown as a deeply reserved woman with "dry ice tones", who was "unable to mourn" Diana's death and is decidedly uncomfortable about having to join in the festivities at the annual servant's fancy dress ball.
The book states: "The Queen, looking distinctly grumpy, emerged for a moment, holding a mop and attired in a dignified black parlour maid's outfit, complete with frilly white apron and a cap perched on her snowy curls."
The phantom princess shudders when she comes face-to-face with her former husband and winces when she smells his aftershave, "a fragrance she knew and loathed". The heir to the throne's new partner is described as having a droopy chin and a "humorous, indulgent mouth".
At the climax of the book, Diana encourages her eldest son to leave the country with his new girlfriend. She states: "Take her away from the pomp and the palaces and ensure the way of life you have been forced to lead is replaced by a better, truer one before you are on the throne."
In true Cinderella fashion, the ghostly princess then appears at the ball and leaves the royal party stunned as she appears in a tiara and dances with a footman "dressed and coiffed as Prince Charles" before vanishing.
Tennant, who wrote the acclaimed bestseller Girlitude and well as a "sequel" to Jane Austen's Pride And Prejudice, insisted her intention was not to shock or offend.
The daughter of the 2nd Baron Glenconner and Elizabeth Lady Glenconner said: "It has got to be read as a work of imagination really. There is no suggestion in the book that Diana somehow escaped from the accident. That would be tasteless.
"It was written as an amusing book which focuses on Princess Diana's warmth and maternal compassion. Poor Diana really changed the Royal Family and she changed them for the better. She brought in something that overcome that stuffy Edwardian atmosphere."
The former travel writer for the now defunct Queen magazine insisted the book should be seen as light-hearted rather than venomous.
"It is quite wrong to suggest that it is an attack on the Royal Family. It is really a critique of people being stuck in the manners and mores of a bygone age. I have had no feedback from Clarence House and don't expect to. I'd be really quite surprised if anybody in that family reads a book."
Royal biographer Hugo Vickers felt the project was misguided. He said: "When I heard about this my heart sank. The idea is exploitative and smacks of bad taste.
"One rather hoped that Princess Diana and her memory could be left to rest in peace after all we have gone through in terms of inquests and hearings."
Vickers was perturbed that such a respected author should attempt to keep the Diana industry going. "I have read some of Emma Tennant's books and they are usually rather good and it is a shame that she has chosen to join this rather tawdry bandwagon."
Diana: The Ghost Biography by Emma Tennant and Hilary Bailey will be published by Arcadia Books
