Begbie meets Brigadoon

SCENE: Interior of a pub in Leith. It is the first day of the Edinburgh Festival. Begbie, Renton, Tommy, Spud and Sick Boy see a male American tourist wearing a bright new red coat walk in and address the barman.

TOURIST: "Excuse me, sir. May I use your washroom?" The barman nods towards the toilet and the American goes in. Begbie and the others put down their glasses, stand and follow him in.

SCENE: Interior of pub toilet. The tourist is at the urinal, whistling 'Once In The Highlands' from Brigadoon. He hears a noise and turns to see the five Scots entering. His eyes widen as Begbie approaches and pulls out a knife.

BEGBIE: "All right there, pal? Where ye frae? Wisconsin? Noo York? Welcome to Scotland. Hope yis enjoy the Festival. Oh, by the way, Rents here noticed yer tag is still hingin' frae yer jaiket. Let me get that fur ye."

Begbie uses his knife to remove the tag, in a pub in one of the 10 friendliest nations... somewhere in a parallel world.