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'Single mom' emerges as real mentor of young Obama

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Published Date: 16 March 2008
IN THE condensed version of the Barack Obama story, his mother is simply the white woman from Kansas. On the campaign trail, he has called her his "single mom."
But neither description begins to capture the unconventional life of Stanley Ann Dunham Soetoro, the parent who most shaped Obama.

Kansas was merely a stop-off in her childhood, wheeling westward in the slipstream of her furniture-salesman father.
In Hawaii, she married an African student at the age of 18. Then she married an Indonesian, moved to Jakarta, became an anthropologist, wrote an 800-page dissertation on peasant blacksmithing in Java, worked for the Ford Foundation, championed women's work and helped bring microcredit to the world's poor.

She had high expectations for her children. In Indonesia, she would wake her son at 4am for correspondence courses in English before school. She brought home recordings of Mahalia Jackson and speeches by Martin Luther King. And when Obama asked to stay in Hawaii for high school rather than return to Asia, she accepted living apart – a decision her daughter says was one of the hardest in her mother's life.

"She felt that somehow, wandering through uncharted territory, we might stumble upon something that will, in an instant, seem to represent who we are at the core," said Maya Soetoro-Ng, Obama's half-sister.

"That was very much her philosophy of life – not to be limited by fear or narrow definitions, to not build walls around ourselves and to do our best to find kinship and beauty in unexpected places."

Soetoro, who died of ovarian cancer in 1995, was the parent who raised Obama, the Illinois senator running for the Democratic presidential nomination.

He barely saw his father after the age of two. Though it is impossible to pinpoint the imprint of a parent on the life of a grown child, people who knew Soetoro well say they see her influence unmistakably in Obama.

They were close, her friends and his half-sister say, though they spent much of their lives with oceans or continents between them. He would not be where he is today, he has said, had it not been for her.

Yet he has also made some different choices – marrying into a tightly knit African-American family rooted in the south side of Chicago, becoming a church-going Christian, publicly recounting his search for his identity as a black man.

Some of what he has said about his mother seems tinged with a mix of love and regret. He has said his biggest mistake was not being at her bedside when she died. And when the candidates were asked about "prized keepsakes", Obama said his was a photograph of the cliffs of the south shore of Oahu in Hawaii where his mother's ashes were scattered.

"I think sometimes that had I known she would not survive her illness, I might have written a different book – less a meditation on the absent parent, more a celebration of the one who was the single constant in my life," he wrote in the preface to his memoir, Dreams From My Father.

He added: "I know that she was the kindest, most generous spirit I have ever known, and that what is best in me I owe to her."

"She was a very, very big thinker," said Nancy Barry, a former president of Women's World Banking, an international network of microfinance providers, where Soetoro worked in New York City in the early 1990s. "I think she cared about the core issues, and I think she was not afraid to speak truth to power."

Her parents were from Kansas – her mother from Augusta, her father from El Dorado, a place Obama first visited in a campaign stop in January.

Stanley Ann (her father had wanted a boy so he gave her his name) was born on an army base during the Second World War. The family moved to California, Kansas, Texas and Washington in restless pursuit of opportunity before landing in Honolulu in 1960.

In a Russian class at the University of Hawaii, she met the college's first African student, Barack Obama. They married and had a son in August 1961, in an era when interracial marriage was rare in the United States. Her parents were upset, Obama learned years later from his mother, but they adapted.

The marriage was brief. In 1963, Obama left for Harvard, leaving his wife and child. She then married Lolo Soetoro, an Indonesian student. When he was summoned home in 1966 after the turmoil surrounding the rise of Suharto, Soetoro and young Barack followed.

Those choices were not entirely surprising, said several high school friends of Soetoro. She never dated "the crew-cut white boys", said one friend, Susan Blake. "She had a world view, even as a young girl. It was embracing the different, rather than that ethnocentric thing of shunning the different. That was where her mind took her."

Her second marriage faded too in the 1970s. She wanted to work, one friend said, and Lolo Soetoro wanted more children.

That both unions ended is beside the point, some friends suggested. Soetoro remained loyal to both husbands and encouraged her children to feel connected to their fathers.

By 1974, she was back in Honolulu, a graduate student and raising Barack and Maya, nine years younger. Barack was on scholarship at a prestigious prep school, Punahou. When Soetoro decided to return to Indonesia three years later for her field work, Barack chose not to go.

"I doubted what Indonesia now had to offer and wearied of being new all over again," he wrote in his memoir.

"More than that, I'd arrived at an unspoken pact with my grandparents: I could live with them and they'd leave me alone so long as I kept my trouble out of sight."

During those years, he was "engaged in a fitful interior struggle. I was trying to raise myself to be a black man in America."

Soetoro-Ng recalled her mother's quandary. "She wanted him to be with her," Soetoro-Ng said. But she added: "She recognised that it was perhaps the best thing for him."

That time apart was hard for both mother and son. "She longed for him," said Georgia McCauley, who became a friend of Soetoro in Jakarta. Barack spent summers and Christmas vacations with his mother. They communicated by letters.

"There were certainly times in his life in those four years when he could have used her presence on a more daily basis," Soetoro-Ng said. "But I think he did all right for himself."

Fluent in Indonesian, Soetoro moved with Maya first to Yogyakarta, the centre of Javanese handicrafts. A weaver in college, she was fascinated with what Soetoro-Ng calls "life's gorgeous minutiae".

That interest inspired her study of village industries, which became the basis of her 1992 doctoral dissertation.

"She loved living in Java," said her friend Alice Dewey, who recalled accompanying Soetoro to a metal-working village. "People said: 'Hi! How are you?' She said: 'How's your wife? Did your daughter have the baby?' They were friends. Then she'd whip out her notebook and she'd say: 'How many of you have electricity? Are you having trouble getting iron?'"

She became a consultant for the US Agency for International Development on setting up a village credit programme, then a Ford Foundation programme officer in Jakarta specialising in women's work. Later, she was a consultant in Pakistan, then joined Indonesia's oldest bank to work on what is described as the world's largest sustainable microfinance programme, creating services like credit and savings for the poor.

Soetoro-Ng, who herself became an anthropologist, remembers conversations with her mother about philosophy or politics, books, esoteric Indonesian woodworking motifs.

"She gave us a very broad understanding of the world," her daughter said. "She hated bigotry. She was very determined to be remembered for a life of service."

She died in November 1995, as Obama was starting his first campaign for public office.

After a memorial service at the University of Hawaii, one friend said, a small group of friends drove to the South Shore in Oahu.

With the wind whipping the waves onto the rocks, Obama and Soetoro-Ng placed their mother's ashes in the Pacific, sending them off in the direction of Indonesia.



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  • Last Updated: 15 March 2008 8:05 PM
  • Source: Scotland On Sunday
  • Location: Scotland
  • Related Topics: Barack Obama
 
1

,

16/03/2008 00:16:21
Comment Removed By Administrator
Reason:
2

,

16/03/2008 02:24:42
Comment Removed By Administrator
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3

Carolyn 1,

16/03/2008 02:45:35
America is ready for a black president,- Colin Powell would win easily.
But, considering Obama's is a 20 year member of a church preaching anti-American hatred, there's no way Obama can win a national election against a guy like John McCain.
And, if the democrats nominate Hillary, there will be protests.


4

Carolyn 1,

16/03/2008 02:59:35
@2
you mean Khalidi, his 'terrorist' friend and fund raiser from college - friend of the PLO and Ahmadinejad?

As for that career stopper... Doesn't it depend on how the media defines 'friend' and how you define 'terrorist' and how you define fund raising ? - depending of course if you're a looney left or a right wing nut job
5

El Sabio,

Sibbertoft 16/03/2008 07:53:12
Think again, vote McCain
6

Solidarity supporter,

Edinburgh 16/03/2008 11:02:47
This story is a straight lift from a New York Times article talk about churnalism this is plagiarism with no attribution come on SOS have you no standards left?
7

,

16/03/2008 11:11:43
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8

Silence of the Yams,

16/03/2008 11:35:34
He attended his church for twenty years, was married and and his children baptised by pastor Wright, even named his book after a Wright sermon, but...we're supposed to believe he had no idea Wright was a rampant bigot!? Obama is toast!!!
9

Media 1,

cape town 16/03/2008 11:43:52
I dont think America will ever be ready for a black President, which is perfectly understandable when you consider that the country is predominantly white.
It is also a nation built by whites! The economy, the infrastructure and the innovation is all white so it makes sense that the masses will want to vote white.

Would Nigerians vote for a white President? Probably not, so why should it be any different in America when it comes to race?
10

Horrible Cankers at the Cyber Shebeen,

16/03/2008 14:35:08
10...Class act mate.....
11

,

16/03/2008 15:10:31
Comment Removed By Administrator
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12

Media 1,

cape town 16/03/2008 15:21:10
Horrible and Doreen

You are both attempting to project the view that America SHOULD and WILL vote for a black man.

In a perfect world you have a perfect point, but what you cannot do is explain WHY America should be ready for a black president.

Personally, I would rather see Obama in power than I would Bush or Hillary, but I dont get a vote! In reality I ask myself the following question.

What is the racial composition of that country?
Then I ask, in what other nations around the world does a white man lead a black nation, or a black man a white nation?
These are questions that I must ask in order to get some sort of idea of what is probably going to happen in America.
I am sorry that you find such views to be racist, but that is to be expected! I dont judge you, I feel sorry for you yes, but only because I realise how lucky I have been to experience Africa, Australia and America! As well as my native Europe!
Racism is when you discriminate based on colour, it is not when you comment that predominantly white nations are probably going to vote for a white leader!
You two need to get out more, open your eyes and learn, read and experience. None of your views are based on empirical evidence, none of them!
13

,

16/03/2008 16:07:14
Comment Removed By Administrator
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14

Texas Granny,

Georgetown, TX 16/03/2008 16:30:09
I've been hesitant to comment before because of the extremely anti-American bias of some of the regular posters, but this seemed like a good issue. Media 1, I disagree with you on several points. I do think the US is willing and capable of electing a black president. If you check, you will find that whites are fast becoming a minority population because, not only do we have about a 12% black population, we now have over 15% Hispanic and increasingly large Asian populations. Many large cities have already elected African Americans as mayors, and several states have elected blacks as governors.
As far as being a country built by whites, it's quite apparent, if not always recognized,that both African Americans and Hispanics have made major contributions to our growth and prosperity. It saddens me greatly that there are still so many people on both sides of the racial divide who just don't quite understand that working together is far better that working at cross purposes.
15

Sandi,

San Diego 16/03/2008 16:58:24
So now his campaign is going to promote the mother, who up until now has rarely been mentioned, and whose family he didn't visit at all until a month or so ago. Whatever they do, they can't erase twenty years of voluntary membership in a racist "church".
16

Media 1,

cape town 16/03/2008 17:07:19
Horrible

Please listen to what I am saying. I am NOT suggesting that a black man should'nt be the President. I am saying that because America is a predominantly white nation, he probably wont be voted President! And I am making that assumption based on the fact that no African nation has a democratically white leader. No Asian nations have white leaders, no South American nations have Japanese leaders and so on. People tend to vote for people who are culturally the same as themselves, its a trend that has existed for millenia! That is all I am saying!
And I disagree with you about black people and the economy. Prior to the white man arriving in Africa, black people had EVERY opportunity to build ships and explore the world, it was a level playing field and they didnt play!
In South Africa during apartheid, the Indian community prospered, they had suburbs,an economy and proper systems in place to sustain themselves in the tough and shocking apartheid era. Then during sanctions in SA the white people did not collapse and die, they invented, innovated and explored new forms of technology and in doing so overcame the effects of sanctions.
These are NOT made up stories they are actual happenings!
It is not racist to point out these realities, it is simply the truth!
Again, I am not saying a black person cannot succeed as the leader of america, its just that I dont think he will, based on the political trends that exists in this world
17

Renée,

Wichita, Kansas 16/03/2008 19:12:28
I voted for Mike Huckabee. As for the issue whether or not America is ready for a black president, it depends on the candidate - I, for one, am NOT ready for the likes of Obama. To be a member of a church, with a very close relationship with its pastor, and claim not to have been aware of his racist, anti-American thoughts and beliefs, is hogwash. It's being brought to light that he has a friend who has terrorist connections and a friend/business associate who is being indicted for a crime.

There are millions of Americans who just vote for what is "cool" and new and they couldn't care less about the candidate's major flaws that could pose a danger if he were to be put into power. It's sad to say, but because of the mentality of some voters, these facts won't deter some people from voting for him. In all honesty, black voters will vote for him just because he is black. The issues do not matter to them.

Throngs of people are flocking to get a glimpse of him when he visits their towns; they are looking to him to be the answer to their every problem. They are going GA-GA over Obama. Hmmm - the Bible says someone will rise up, in the end times, and appear to be the perfect solution and millions will follow and adore him. It does state this person will come from the East, but when John the Baptist was receiving these revelations, where was East from the Isle of Patmos?

Well, that's just my 2 cents (sorry, I don't know the British equivalent) for what it' worth. I voted my conscience.

To all of my friends in Scotland - have a wonderful and blessed evenng!

18

CowtownSweetheart,

Edinburgh 16/03/2008 20:34:12
#16..His mother died in 1995. Try reading the entire article first before commenting. He has always been close with his mothers side of the family. His father's side has only come out of the woodwork in the last few months, trying to discredit his mother and her background.
19

bikewoman,

16/03/2008 21:22:11
#14

Troll
20

Let's have the truth,

Queensland 16/03/2008 22:27:57
Jesus was the greatest politician. The world is still talking about him today.
21

,

16/03/2008 23:19:05
Comment Removed By Administrator
Reason:
22

Sandi,

San Diego 17/03/2008 00:40:58
#19,

He was "close with" his maternal grandparents with whom he lived. He was not "close with" the rest of the family and never felt the need to visit apparently, according to this article.


"Her parents were from Kansas – her mother from Augusta, her father from El Dorado, a place Obama first visited in a campaign stop in January."



23

ttjessie,

New York 17/03/2008 04:05:23
He did his time. He didn't make a big issue out of it. My friends on (Blackcenturydotcom) love him very much. It is a niche interracial dating service
24

Jakesalive,

LA California 17/03/2008 13:15:15
I've noticed that those that say America is not ready for a black president are not even Americans! From their comments here I've noticed that their knowledge of the US, its people and politics is as good as my knowledge of Welsh which is refreshingly nill! The US is not as divided as people think. Obama is currently leading on total votes cast because there is something about him that fascinates and transcends the racial. Americans are more interested in what a man can bring to the job - his credentials and potentials and not the colour of his skin. I strongly believe that Obama will win come November. He has won the majority of votes over the Clintons despite the strong political machinary and the entire might of the Democratic establishment behind the Clintons. If he can win the Clintons, McCain will be a piece of meat. I'm white, but I totally and unremittingly support, campaign for and will vote for Obama because this election is not about race. The sooner those that call themselves 'whites' realise that all men are created equal the better our world will be.
25

Dusty Jackson,

Kalispell, MT 17/03/2008 23:27:38
I was very impressed with Obama. Finally there was a black leader that might be straight with both whites and blacks like Bill Cosby, instead of the Jessie Jacksons and Al Sharptons. The latter two have only suceeded in re-enslaving blacks by convincing them they are victims and cannot make it in life without following those two. I am blown away when I listen to his pastor. I know understand why Obama's wife made the comments she did. We cannot forget that this is NOT just an associate but his MENTOR. I have had mentors and I believe that their major virtues live in me. I cannot remove this horrible thought of a posibility: Obama = "The Manchurian Candidate"?
26

iela,

Virgina 20/03/2008 14:53:25
I do not care if Barach Obama is purple and has two heads the issue is: if he is elected president will it be more of the same as the current administration or will he really make changes on behalf of the people. If this article is accurate in describing his upbringing is it appears his advocating for change is sincere.
27

lolade,

NJ 31/03/2008 21:12:40
I get frustrated whenpeople refer to OBAMA the first Black president. Obama is nether black nor white. He is a unique being because His parents come from different sides of the coin.He is not your typical African American.( Colin powell and the rest who have a tinge of white( could be quarter od one eighth)Anyway, I know He will win the nay sayers be prepare to be ashamed. dysfunctional family or not. His own nuclear family is going strong.
America, Let us give this guy a chance. He is intelligent , He is not part of the old school( like McCain, Hilary), He stands for real change.

 

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