ROLL up! Roll up! Ladies and gentlemen… the SPL presents… Gretna… versus Inverness… at Fir Park. Any takers? Anyone? Oh look, here come some fans now, willing to part with 20 quid for this prime Scottish product.
There were 431 believers. Not enough to prevent The Lowest Ever Scottish Premier League Attendance, the lowest since Gretna played Dundee United here last month.
Once again the Gretna players played to the best of their ability in the worst of ci
rcumstances. Inverness's only excuse could be lack of confidence due to a rotten run. Finally, they won their first match since their last match with Gretna, three months ago.
The game that was in danger of not going ahead went ahead. The latest SPL handout has warded off a wipe-out, for the meantime. A miserable football club holds out desperately for a takeover before it's all over.
Great sympathy was afforded Gretna by those Inverness fans who bothered to make the long trip. "Pub team from England, you're just a pub team from England" they began, and then "Glad to see you're still alive", which did not sound sincere in the slightest.
Initially, the Inverness team took pity on Gretna. They did everything within their power not to score a goal. Granted, Greg Fleming helped them in their mission of missing everything. The Gretna goalie was a hero, but the Inverness players were villains, especially the feckless front line.
Dennis Wyness was denied a few times. Markus Paatelainen cracked a drive off the post. Wyness and Paatelainen combined to both fail in a mysterious move that had everybody scratching their heads and Craig Brewster tearing his hair out.
Gretna grew more confident and had every right to feel their opponents were there for the taking after not taking their chances. John Paul Kissock thundered a tremendous effort off the Inverness crossbar.
Finally Inverness found the net. Ross McBain blasted a shot into the corner. Swiftly, Don Cowie followed with a second, before Craig Barr got one back for Gretna from a narrow angle.
"Motivating the players isn't hard," said Gretna caretaker manager Mick Wadsworth. "Playing football is so easy after all the other stuff we have to deal with on a weekly basis. They're a smashing bunch, a real joy. I just wish we could get a result for them."
Inverness manager Brewster thought it a "strange game". It was rather odd, and witnessed by so few, but then that's hardly surprising.
