Scotland on Thursday

WELCOME to today's tasty news morsels, including SPORT, FASHION, TELEVISION, BUSINESS and the INTERNET.

RED TOP REVIEW

Amy Olympics
It's a thin day for tabloid exclusives. It's as if the tabs temporarily lost interest in life following the sudden collapse of Murray mania. But it is interesting to see how different papers handle the same story, in this case the long-running Amy Winehouse saga. The Daily Record gives her latest antics the comic strip treatment and the headline "Wonder Wino". The amazing series of pictures show the singer, in a white vest and tiny gingham shorts, apparently having a row in the street with her father, jumping out of his car, sprinting along the street and jumping into another vehicle after first flagging down the driver. The page is overlaid with speech bubbles - "Er, hi dad. What's that? Back to rehab? No...no...no!". The Sun's version is a more imaginative "Amy Olympics", showing the same sequence but superimposed on the Olympic rings and captioned "sprint", "high jump", "boxing" and so on. The headline? "Crack and field".

Custard cream story takes the biscuit
After bypassing sublime, the papers go from the ridiculous to Madge and Guy's marriage to the even more ridiculous. "Defining moment for custard cream" says the Daily Mirror's page 21 headline above a story about the Oxford English Dictionary deciding to include the biscuit in its august pages. "Literary experts decided it was high time the vanilla-filled snack was included when nine out of 10 people voted it their top biscuit in a survey," the paper reveals. A biscuit expert, Stuart Payne, explains: "With the cream in the centre, there's enough nice stuff in it that people think they're getting a bit of a treat, but not so nice that people feel guilty eating three of them."

Puntastic day for The Sun
As I said, it's a thin day for the tabs. But at least The Sun's headline writers are on decent form. Ali G star Sacha Baron Cohen to play Sherlock Holmes in a new movie? "Ali-mentary my dear Watson". Murray's defeat? "Post Nadal depression". Marks & Spencer has £1.23bn wiped off its market value? "This isn't just a slump...this is an M&S slump".


BUSINESS

By Rosemary Gallagher

Brent crude price hits record high
The price of oil continues to hit record highs with Brent crude rising above $145 a barrel for the first time. London Brent crude increased by $1.50 to $145.75 a barrel in after-hours electronic trading last night.

The rises follow earlier highs recorded in London and New York after the US government announced its oil stockpiles fell by more than expected last week. Global oil prices have doubled in the past year.


TELEVISION

By Chitra Ramaswamy

When Gok met Joan Collins
It seems every programme that bespectacled beauty Gok Kwan touches is transformed into the belle of the ball, even when Alexa Chung is his lacklustre sidekick. This week Gok meets Joan Collins and spruces up yet more high street outfits with his magic touch. The televisual equivalent of couture.

Gok's Fashion Fix, Channel 4, 8pm

Hugh's House party
The last episode in the current series of House is a whopper as the team continue in the race against time to keep Amber alive. Tense, smart and cryptic - whoever knew that an American medical series riffing on Sherlock Holmes and starring a posh English actor would work quite so well?

House, Five, 9pm

Mama Mia! mania
What with the world premiere in London earlier this week, Mamma Mia! fever is at 'Dancing Queen' point (ie very, very high). This programme marks the 10th anniversary of the musical, exploring its global appeal and including interviews with the original band members, though whether they will be in 70s soft focus is unknown.

ABBA: The Mamma Mia! Story, STV, 9pm


FASHION

By Kayt Turner

Silverstone celebrates the 60th year of the British Grand Prix on Sunday - an event that some people are getting very excited about. Not the great and the good though, judging by the 'celebs' who turned up at a party to mark the event.

Baby bounce back
We know that you had a baby, ooh, five minutes ago, Tina - so is it wise to stand side on to the photographers? Or are you (as we suspect) just showing off the fact that your figure sprang back like a piece of taut elastic?

Simply the vest
Tess Daly takes the one opportunity that we've had all summer to get that maxi dress out from the back of the cupboard. How sensible though, that she's chosen to keep her vest on underneath.

Short circuit
Bernie Ecclestone and his girls. He knows his stuff, Bernie, which is why you have to look closely to be able to see the four foot high box that he's standing on.


SPORT

By Graham Bean

Williams sisters to carve out glory
Wimbledon is expected to be turned into Williamsdon as the women's championship reaches the semi-final stage this afternoon. The powerplay sisters Venus and Serena Williams are strongly fancied to set up their third family final.

Twice winner Serena should have few problems disposing of Chinese opponents Zheng Jie, a wildcard, while defending, and four-times champions Venus will not be daunted by meeting the top ranked player remaining in the tournament, Russian fifth seed Elena Dementieva. The Williams sisters were expected to dominate Wimbledon after they met in back-to-back finals in 2002 and 2003. Both were won by Serena in mind-numbing occasions dismissed as carve-ups, Venus having won the event the previous two years.

But injuries and the desire to pursue other interests have diluted the pair's focus on tennis. Their resolve seems to have returned, though, which could spell bad news for those who like fiercely competitive finals, and the sisters' father Richard, who will not watch the pair "fighting", which is how he describes them slugging it out for the Wimbledon title.


INTERNET

Website of the day
Ahoy, me hearties! Here be all the information that you'll be needin' to take part in national Talk Like A Pirate Day on September 19th. A treasure-trove of nautical nonsense. Altogether now...Aaaaar!