Scotland on Wednesday

WELCOME to today's tasty news morsels, including SPORT, FASHION, TELEVISION, BUSINESS and the INTERNET.

RED TOP REVIEW

The true cost of a string vest

Oh, how some luvvies suffer for their art! The Daily Record reveals how actor Gregor Fisher, who played Rab C Nesbitt for eight years, was in agony during filming because his string vest played havoc with his nipples. Fisher said: "The series was shot in winter in the lashing rain and wind, with your nipples at a 45 degree angle in a string vest. And that's painful. I got one of those sprays for breast-feeding women. It didn't make a blind bit of difference though. I know what it's like, girls. I've been there."

Winehouse's 'drink was spiked'

Aye, right. Amy Winehouse's dad is convinced that her latest health scare - she landed back in hospital after a series of severe fits - was caused by a hanger-on spiking her drink with drugs. The Sun reports that Mitch Winehouse, her 54-year-old cabbie father, has called police to complain that someone put an ecstasy tablet in his daughter's drink. It wasn't, he insisted, anything to do with her ongoing battle with Class A drugs. Other papers claim this morning that Winehouse's collapse came after a four-hour drinking session. Mitch last month insisted his daughter had developed emphysema.

Meet the two-mothered twins who are also quads

So, let's get this straight. They're twins. But they're also quads. And they have two mummies. Confused? Let The Mirror explain. The tabloid tells the story of a lesbian couple - Karen Wesolowski and Martha Padgett - who both had fertility treatment and gave birth on the same day to two sets of twins - who are also quads because they were all conceived from Martha's eggs. Got that?


BUSINESS

By Nathalie Thomas

Next sales take a tumble

There was mixed news from the high street this morning as Next revealed that underlying sales fell by 6% in the first six months of the year. The fashion retailer warned that it expects a similar decline in the second half, with no let-up in the consumer slowdown in sight. But the results were broadly in line with analysts' forecasts and Next shares were up 1.3% to 1,018p in early trading.

Lloyds TSB revenues plummet

Meanwhile, the banking sector provided no relief to the economic doom and gloom as Lloyds TSB posted a staggering 63% fall in net income to £576m in the first half of the year.

"The first half of 2008 has been a period of considerable turbulence for the financial services sector and this has been compounded by the marked slowdown in the UK economy as a whole," Lloyds TSB chairman, Sir Victor Blank, said in explanation for the decline.

Lloyds' wholesale and international banking division suffered in particular, recording a 52% drop in pre-tax profits to £375m.


TELEVISION

By Fiona Leith

Bottom line

Trinny and Susannah are a pair of asses. More so than usual tonight as they kick off the latest season of their campaigning approach to lifestyle telly, the cause being the British bottom. Undress The Nation starts with the usual stripping, groping, petting and pruning approach to individual paranoias, and in future weeks will tackle shopping and plus sizes - looking at the fact that 45% of British women are over size 16, yet not catered for by the high street.

Undress The Nation ITV 1, 9pm

Not so dear leader

Dramatising Saddam Hussein's 24-year rule over Iraq is ambitious, but the BBC/HBO co-production House Of Saddam pulls it off. The Shakespearean overtones will come as no surprise, as the dictator shifts from idealistic leader to Machiavellian killer of friends, foes and family alike. This is the first of four-part series.

House Of Saddam, BBC2, 9pm

Animal collective

Guyana is a country the size of the UK, situated between Venezuela, Suriname and Brazil, but with the population of Liverpool. It's the setting for Lost Land Of The Jaguar, which is nature TV as it should be. As well as searching for the elusive cat, the team are looking for the world's largest eagle (the harpy eagle), the world's biggest snake (the anaconda), the largest otter and the largest spider.

Lost Land Of The Jaguar, BBC1, 8pm


FASHION

By Kayt Turner

Pants

How many times do I have to say this? It's patently for your own good. All-in-one-jumpsuit thingies - especially ones with complicated arm holes - are not good. Not for anyone. And Amber Tamblyn is hardly helping herself by having had hers designed in what appears to be crimpolene.

Crepe

Alexis Bledel seems to have gone a little crazy with the crepe paper. She's attached a good three rolls of it to her dress and another one has been cut up to wrap around her feet, ankles and calves. She obviously ran out of paper before she could do her second sleeve - or the rest of the skirt.

Boob

Cate Blanchett wants everyone to know she has, ahem, bounced back after three kids. Three! You and I know that it's all down to fabulous corsetry - isn't it? God help us if it isn't.


SPORT

By Graham Bean

Balde in talks with Sunderland

Celtic could finally be getting highly paid defender Bobo Balde off their wage bill.

The towering centre-half is in talks with Roy Keane about a potential move to Sunderland after the Wearsiders' manager watched him during Celtic's pre-season match in Portugal against Middlesborough.

Gordon Strachan has made it clear that the player has no future at Parkhead and Celtic are even prepared to waive a transfer fee to get Balde, 32, off their books.

The Guinea international earns around £28,000 per week but took part in only four Premier League matches last season.


INTERNET

Website of the day

This site has listings for every cinema in the UK plus trailers, interviews and movie gossip. It even has the cool "pa-pa, pa-paahhhh...pah!" jingle.