BACK in the late 1980s and 1990s, not long after the Berlin Wall went the way of Marathon Bars and Betamax, there was a lot of wide-eyed talk about the "end of history".
The class war was over and we were all moving forwards together into a warm and fuzzy era of meritocratic liberalism (albeit one where Noel Edmonds' Crinkly Bottom House Party was on prime time TV).
However, what actually occurred was that the rich and powerful swiftly went back to grinding everyone else's noses into the dirt.
But this time anybody who stood in their way could be instantly labelled a "dinosaur" and a season-ticket-holding supporter of the team who had just lost history's greatest penalty shoot-out.
On the plus side Mr Blobby and co were eventually axed and the Scorpions never had another Top 10 hit, so I guess you could put it down as a case of some you win, some you lose.
Yep, the class war is still raging on (with one side missing in action) and if you need any further proof check out the website of the Formal Attire Running Club of Edinburgh (FARCE).
Motto: "Enjoy the active side of life, whilst being ridiculously good looking."
This raffish upper class caper involves a lot of chinless, post-boarding-school buffoons pounding the streets while – yep, you've guessed it – dressed in dinner jackets, bow-ties and cocktail dresses.
Huzzah! What an absolutely topping wheeze.
Not content with jeering at frightful prole pedestrians, these jogging Jeeves and Woosters have even created their own version of the Olympics.
This monocle-popping spectacular sees teams of Yahs (named after their preferred form of expressing the affirmative) competing in a variety of Pimms-fuelled japes.
These include giant Jenga and snakes and ladders, ballroom dancing, poker, limbo and that timeless toff favourite; a boat race.
Registered teams included The New Townians, The Old Boys, Tobius's Blue Man Group, Project Mayhem and the delightfully saucy My Mum's No Wrestler But You Should See Her Box.
However, it appears that it is not the winning or losing that counts, but rather one's ability to get jolly tiddily.
All athletes are instructed to bring "one crate of beer, one bottle of spirits plus mixer and some loose change (stupidity tax)".
In exchange they are promised "Lots of drinking and incredible banter".
"Oh lay off Horne you ghastly oik," I'm sure some aggrieved FARCEr will bray.
"It's all for charity dont you know."
Jolly good chaps. How about a small wager then?
I'll make a sizeable donation if you pile into a fleet of armoured Land Rovers and swap the mean streets of Morningside for a road race in Easterhouse.
Let's call it a tenner for every minute you, your blazers and your boaters remain unscathed. Pip, pip...
http://farce.eusa.ed.ac.uk/ Go West for the original Batman BIFF! POW!! SOCK!!!
Batman is back.
But we are not talking about the blood-soaked big-screen epic, the Dark Knight. Oh no. Adamwest.com is dedicated to the original caped crusader from the camp-as-Christmas 1960s TV series.
Despite hanging up his utility belt decades ago West appears in good nick (Holy Botox Batman?) and has created his own decidely tongue-in-cheek online Bat Cave.
You can buy vintage photographs, signed by the the man himself, depicting Batman doing battle with old-school super-villains such as the Cesar Romero's Joker, Burgess Meredith as The Penguin and Julie Newmar as the slinky Catwoman.
You can also compete for the title of Boy or Girl Wonder by taking part in a ludicrously geeky Batquiz.
Strangely enough, the following question does not appear: "How many times did Batman and Robin get dodgy looks in the queue for the hosiery counter at Marks and Spencer?"
http://www.adamwest.com Watch the grass growzzz... Suffering from insomnia? Looking to slip into blissful unconsciousness? Then check out the most boring website in the known universe. A cunningly placed webcam allows viewers to literally watch grass grow. Coming soon watchingpaintdry.com?
Apparently the site's creators originally considered showing footage of Holyrood's Subordinate Legislation Committee, but were unable to keep their eyes open long enough to upload it.
http://www.watching-grass-grow.com/ Weird Week at the Fringe • Why We Ate Cliff Richard, Pleasance Courtyard, 2.15pm until August 25
The self-proclaimed Peter Pan of pop is mercilessly lampooned in this spot-on musical satire. Expect to fight your way past hordes of placard-wielding die-hard devotees of Sir Mistletoe and Wine.
http://www.edfest.com/shows/Why_We_Ate_Cliff_RichardThe full article contains 784 words and appears in Scotland On Sunday newspaper.
